Clever girl eats… _ a funny food blog for ventura county

You ever get so irritated with a server giving you bad service that you never want to return to the restaurant? I have yet to understand why it’s taboo to talk poorly about an annoying server giving you bad service, which is ridiculous because there’s so much bad service out there. Lasagna cottage cheese or ricotta Saying we shouldn’t talk about bad service is like saying we shouldn’t talk about how shitty Starbucks coffee is, which, we’re not right now because that’s not the subject… even though it does not negate the fact that they serve shitty coffee and there are way too many of them.

Lasagna recipe cottage cheese and ricotta If Trump really wants to do this country a favor, he should deport all the goddamn Starbucks!

People get uncomfortable when you criticize a server giving shitty service, like you’ll get struck down by lightening or something. Easy slow cooker lasagna with cottage cheese The biggest reason I hear people saying you shouldn’t talk badly about a bad server is because their job is sooooo hard .

Yeah? So is picking strawberries out in the fields but do you hear the Mexicans complaining about it? No, because when was the last time you found yourself near some strawberry fields… forever?

Any job can be considered hard, not just waiting tables. Crockpot lasagna with cottage cheese Just try running this country into the ground! I know because I may or may not have done that crappy job myself at some point (waiting tables, not running the country into the ground) so you can’t preach to this choir. Simple lasagna recipe no cottage cheese What I find most ludicrous is that we pay servers for the shitty service they give us in the form of a guilt tip (not to be confused with guilt trip). Simple lasagna recipe cottage cheese We feel guilty because we’re doing something to them that’s completely rude and intrusive: Ordering food. Easy lasagna recipe without cottage or ricotta cheese How dare we? So we give them money at the end of our dining experience whether the service was good or not, out of pure guilt… do you know how crazy ridiculous that is? As crazy ridiculous as a sociopathic reality T.V. Easy lasagna recipe without ricotta or cottage cheese narcissist becoming president!

Jinky’s happens to be one of the biggest offenders, and to top it off, it’s so overpriced , so if you want shitty service and a ding in your wallet, go there. Healthy turkey lasagna with cottage cheese On one of my visits, I ordered a cup of their homemade chili. Vegetable lasagna recipe with cottage cheese If you order a cup of chili, you’d think you’d get an actual cup, right? Not at Jinky’s! You won’t get a cup of chili, you’ll get a barely- a-cup of chili. Spaghetti squash lasagna cottage cheese That’s an actual measurement they invented. How to make lasagna without ricotta or cottage cheese The portion was so small and miserly, I thought they may have mistook me for the midget sitting in the next booth over. Lasagna recipe no boil noodles cottage cheese Now don’t get your panties in a bunch, I would never refer to a midget as a midget… it was a toddler. Lasagna recipe cottage cheese spinach Anyway, the goddamn chili set me back $8.00… for beans people! I used to live in Westlake Village, so I was accustomed to getting overcharged, but Jinky’s beat them out in that category.

My biggest complaint is the service, which is consistently bad. Lasagna recipe cottage cheese ricotta Overall, the service can be brimming with apathy, but there’s one particular server that takes the lead in crappy. Lasagna recipe cottage cheese He’s the crap-master of table-waiting; the king of I-don’t-give-a-shit. How to make lasagna with ricotta and cottage cheese For one, he always looks slovenly, with a dirty, wrinkled shirt and greasy hairstyle. Lasagna ricotta and cottage cheese Plus he’s sloooow; in pace and comprehension. Lasagna ricotta and cottage cheese mixture It would never occur to him, for instance, that if you serve tea, soup or oatmeal, you should probably bring a spoon, because in his caveman existence, dirty fingers work fine. Meat lasagna recipe cottage cheese I would bet money that if I uttered the words “Unga Bunga” he would totally get it! That’s because moments before he placed his rotund schlubbiness in my face, he was out back taking a bong load. Can you make lasagna without ricotta or cottage cheese If you have a couple three hours to waste, sit in his section for amusement. Lasagna recipe cottage cheese oven ready noodles That’s how long it’ll take for him to take your order, bring your food, bring you the things you’ll need with your food, after having to repeatedly ask, and finally, to present you with an insulting bill. Traditional lasagna recipe with cottage cheese And he completely expects to get a tip for all this, not understanding that the word “tip” is actually an acronym for “ To Insure Promptness”, obviously a concept that is completely lost on him whenever his mother wakes him up from his nappy-time so he can haul off to work.

Although I’d like to protect my readers from such slovenliness, in the spirit of a 12-Step program, he shall remain anonymous, I will not state his name … except that it starts with the letter M…

…and sounds like the object you wipe your feet on at the front door, which is exactly what I’d like to do whenever he approaches my table to give me that special, shitty service that only a self-entitled Millennial knows how to give (Add one more T on the end for good measure).

And speaking of T, if you order tea there, be prepared to get hot, brown water because their tea bags are tiny and once you place it in the teapot, it gets diluted to the point where you’re not even drinking tea, but rather, hot, brown water (I think I may or may not have already said that. Slow cooker lasagna with cottage cheese Thank God I’m not so moronic as to Tweet about it though). Can you make lasagna without cottage cheese So I explained… very slowly … to Mr. Lasagna cottage cheese ricotta recipe T (no relation) why I needed another tea bag and he was so obsequious in his response, I actually thought I was only going to get halfway shitty service that morning instead of the usual full Monty.

He sweetly stated he would need to charge me an extra $1.75 for another tea bag to which I promptly told him no thank you and to please remove the tea from the bill… because they already charge $3.75 for that hot, brown water. Lasagna without cottage cheese or ricotta Jesus Christ, even Starbucks only charges you around a buck ninety for a cup ‘o crap! Instead of wasting a tea bag and having to take it off of the bill, he could have easily brought me the extra one without an additional charge, since they should serve actual tea and not brown water. Crockpot lasagna with cottage cheese and spinach In the process, he would have ingratiated himself to me for his effort to provide good service. Lasagna recipe ricotta and cottage cheese But, it was not meant to T… I mean, be.

Why do I keep going there, you ask? It’s a fair question and I cannot argue it would be ridiculous of me to keep patronizing a place I clearly do not like. Easy lasagna no ricotta or cottage cheese The answer is: The food’s not horrible in a town that has horrible food, and if you know how to order, you can avoid getting ripped off. Can i make lasagna without ricotta or cottage cheese For instance, if you want a light breakfast, they make really good sourdough toast and it’s a mere $2.25. Meat lasagna cottage cheese Plus they grill it instead of putting it in the toaster, and it gives it that nice, smoky flavor that I love in grilled bread. Slow cooker lasagna without ricotta or cottage cheese You can also share most any dish because the portions are large. Quick lasagna recipe cottage cheese I’d avoid potatoes. Lasagna cottage cheese ricotta They tried to be clever by offering their equivalent of Tater Tots, a disgusting food to begin with, one that’s in line with chicken nuggets, Skittles, and bottled ranch dressing * shudder* but it could’ve worked had they made them in-house. Can i use cottage cheese instead of ricotta in lasagna It fails because they’re the commercial, frozen kind, what’s so special about that? Their other choices of potato are equally awful. Lasagna without cottage or ricotta cheese How can you screw up a potato? Ask Jinky’s! For breakfast, they offer a single pancake, which is such a brilliant idea, but then they ruin it by charging six bucks for the goddamn thing. Mexican lasagna with cottage cheese Six. Meatless lasagna with cottage cheese Bucks. Eggplant lasagna with cottage cheese For. Lasagna recipe without ricotta or cottage cheese One. Chicken lasagna with cottage cheese Pancake? Suck it Jinky’s.

Having Mr. Mexican lasagna with noodles and cottage cheese T wait on me was enough to make me not wanna go back… until this morning, that is, when I had a lapse in memory and good judgment. Skillet lasagna recipe with cottage cheese But shockingly, the service wasn’t horrible. Homemade lasagna with ricotta and cottage cheese Mr. Lasagna roll ups with cottage cheese and spinach T was nowhere to be found and I actually got decent service from a very nice, well-groomed Latina server… which explains a lot. Mexican lasagna with corn tortillas and cottage cheese The place also happened to be almost empty… which explains a lot. Chicken alfredo lasagna with cottage cheese The one saving grace for service at Jinky’s is Sergio the busboy. Lasagna cottage cheese and ricotta He always has a smile on his face and gets me whatever I need when my server disappears… which is frequently.

So if you’re gonna go, just know ahead of time the service is crappy and know what to order to avoid getting ripped off. Lasagna without cottage cheese or ricotta cheese Otherwise, in the wise words of the real Mr. Meatless lasagna recipe cottage cheese T: Pity the fool!

I always wondered what bored billionaires do. Lasagna cottage cheese vs ricotta Because if you think about it, they’ve probably done it all, right? Jumped out of airplanes (morons), rode elephants, sailed around the world in a boat (morons), bought tropical islands, rubbed elbows with the stars (morons) and collected every vehicle they dreamt about since they were little… just to name a few things. Lasagna cottage cheese and ricotta recipe Well, I found out what one of ‘em does when I went to his hotel to have lunch the other day at the Four Seasons Westlake Village.

There’s the Four Seasons London, the Four Season Tokyo, the Four Seasons Milan, the Four Seasons St. Lasagna without ricotta cheese or cottage cheese Petersburg, the Four Seasons Paris, the Four Seasons Hong Kong (just to name a few), and the Four Seasons… Westlake Village. Do you hear that slow, steady, high-pitched squeaking? That’s hot air seeping out of a deflating balloon. How to make lasagna without ricotta cheese or cottage cheese Or the taco I ate yesterday… one of the two.

If you were to utter “How disappointing” right at this moment, it would be a major understatement.

My point is, who the hell in their right mind goes to vacation in Westlake friggin’ Village?! This “Dole” guy, the one who owns the hotel, thinks there are a lot of people who would. Cottage cheese ricotta lasagna The Dole to which I’m referring is… yep, the pineapple guy! I can’t make this shit up, people. Using cottage cheese instead of ricotta in lasagna A canned pineapple guy wants world-traveling jet-setters to come to Westlake Village to vacation. Can you use cottage cheese instead of ricotta in lasagna And apparently, to hold onto their youth too, because the hotel is a “Longevity Center and Spa” as well as a hotel managed by a world-class company.

Okay, okay I have to admit, WLV (Westlake Village) competes with BH (Beverly Hills) for the most nips, tucks and sucks for both men and women, and the only natural breasts you’re gonna find there are the ones on the fresh roasted turkey at Gelson’s supermarket, so I get the “longevity” thing. Cottage cheese vs ricotta lasagna But there’s nothing world-class about WLV. How to make lasagna without cottage cheese Unless you consider The Housewives’ franchise compelling television, then it’s world-class.

So this bored billionaire has a hotel, and let me just say this: He has zero taste; the place is hideous . Recipe for lasagna without cottage cheese As you enter, it almost takes your breath away… and not in a good way either. Recipe for lasagna with cottage cheese and spinach You initially have hope that it’s going to be spectacular, then you see a giant, ornate crystal chandelier juxtaposed with what can only be described as “stuffy lawyer’s office” decor. Recipe for lasagna with cottage cheese and ricotta cheese It’s like a cross between Bette Midler, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.

I went there to luncheon with… Jesus Christ, I just said “luncheon”… this kooky doctor who practices Functional Medicine, whatever the hell that means! I guess it’s some new-age, hocus-pocus healing practice where they align your chakras, stick needles in your face, and then try to sell you Amway.

Amway… I mean, anyway, forget why I was there with a kooky, new-age doctor, let’s talk about the food.

Now if I thought 10 bucks was a lot of dough *snicker* for a shitty sandwich, like the one in my last post, this one was astronomical. Recipe for lasagna without ricotta or cottage cheese It was double the price, which nearly gave me a goddamn heart attack! Luckily I was luncheon…ing with a doctor, even if she was kooky.

I ordered their vegetarian sandwich on account of I was still trying to eat healthily. Vegetarian lasagna with cottage cheese recipe Well forget that shit because as soon as they brought out some bread and butter, I was in it to win it! That was a mistake. As soon as I bit into a piece I almost chipped a tooth on the stuff; it was like hard leather! They happen to offer dentistry services there at the “Longevity” center, so I guess they start out your stay by breaking some of your goddamn teeth. Chicken lasagna recipe with cottage cheese What lacked in tenderness though was made up for with absolutely nothing because the flavor was awful too.

My sandwich was composed of grilled eggplant and portabella with fennel slaw, swiss cheese, sprouts, arugula pesto and a spicy harrissa vinaigrette served on tomato foccaccia. How to make easy lasagna with cottage cheese Sounds delicious, right? Well it shoulda been, but somehow Dole managed to make it completely tasteless, and really, it makes complete sense because we’re talking about someone who makes canned pineapple for a living. Easy homemade lasagna recipe with cottage cheese Plus his decor is tasteless, so there you go. Turkey lasagna recipe with cottage cheese The eggplant and portabella were dry and rubbery, so when I bit into it with my now fragile teeth, it was like biting into a bicycle tire. Lasagna without ricotta or cottage cheese recipes I couldn’t discern any fennel slaw or arugula pesto flavor either, and harrissa, which is normally a gorgeous, fruity, spicy pepper relish with tons of flavor, was dumbed down with mayonnaise; hardly a “vinaigrette” as they called it. Crock pot lasagna with cottage cheese recipe The greens that were served on the side were delicious, but there were dry because the dressing was pooled at the bottom of the plate, and I have yet to meet someone who doesn’t want to toss my salad.

The only thing that saved this dish was the view overlooking the waterfall made from the gigantic boulders that the Dole guy had supposedly transported from Thailand. Lasagna made with cottage cheese and ricotta cheese That was nice. How to make a lasagna with cottage cheese I guess.

So that answers my question about what bored billionaires do after they’ve done it all. Lasagna with cottage cheese recipe They open hotels and serve bland food.

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